It’s important to agree upon the menu of activities before you get started.
Many subs want to be held in a cocoon of their dom’s attention where the whole world melts away. They don’t need to think, worry, or make any decisions.
If your partner does give you the safe word, always stop whatever you’re doing immediately and check in with them. They might just need a breather, or they might want to stop completely. Be sure to respect their boundaries no matter what. If you are doing any sort of play that covers your partner’s mouth (meaning they can’t talk), come up with a safe code, like tapping their hand on the bed 3 times. That way, they can still communicate if they need to.
Word play is a huge component of domination. Make sure you’re comfortable giving your sub commands and telling them exactly what to do and when to do it.
Whips Blindfolds Paddles Ropes Handcuffs
Don’t use too much power. Getting carried away could lead to injury.
There’s a difference between a dominant lifestyle and fetishism, but the skin tight black bodysuit remains an iconic garment in both communities.
Corsets and bustiers aren’t strictly necessary, but they do help add to the overall look (which can make you feel more confident).
Keep a few accessories around and try out which ones feel good for you. Many dominatrixes rotate through their outfits.
For example, you may feel shy about demanding your partner to be quiet or sit down at first, but don’t be, unless they tell you they are uncomfortable.
Check in with your partner if you aren’t sure. Ask them things like, “How are you feeling?” or, “Do you want to stop?”
Make sure that your partner is always comfortable with what you’re doing. If you don’t agree on what to do beforehand or pay attention to how much your sub is enjoying their experience, you’re not dominating them—you’re just harming them.
