Ask yourself how you feel. Do you feel loved and known? Do you feel like your friend likes you? This is friendly teasing, and it’s a good idea to react in a friendly way. If you feel like your friend doesn’t like you, pay attention. That might mean that the teasing is unfriendly.
You can dismiss their joke by saying, “Thanks but I’ve heard that line before. ” Then just walk away or move on to a different topic without any further attention given to the situation. Avoid teasing the teaser back. Instead of sinking to their level, be the bigger person. You can agree in a joking way. If your friend says “Hey sleepy, falling asleep at lunch again?” You can say “Yeah, that’s me, Sleepy. “[2] X Research source If you aren’t hurt, but you don’t really like the joke, just smile but don’t say anything. Your smile will tell your friend that you aren’t upset, but it won’t give them more material to tease you with.
It can help to say your own name silently. [5] X Research source You should usually let your friends know how you feel, but if you have a friend who is turning out to be a bully, avoid revealing your hurt feelings. Let them know that you aren’t hurt, but that you don’t think they’re being funny. If they say something insensitive, you can say “I feel like if you really thought that, you would ask me about it in private instead of making jokes. "
You can change the topic if you know you have something more captivating than your friend’s teasing. If you don’t, try sighing and saying “Does anyone want to talk about something more…uh…interesting?” Tease your friend back for talking about you so much. Say “You think a lot about my outfits, don’t you?” If they come back with an insult, just smile and say something like “Whatever you say, personal stylist. " Tell your friend later in private how you feel. Sarcasm can turn nasty over time—you don’t want to communicate that way for too long. [7] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Explain why you reacted. “It’s not what you said—what you said isn’t true. I’m hurt that you would say it, though. " When you address your friend, use “I” statements instead of accusing them of anything. It will help you and your friend stay calm. [8] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source You can say “I feel hurt when you tease me about this. I never like jokes about this subject. "
For instance, you might say “I don’t want you to talk about my family in public, especially when you’re making jokes or bringing up things we are struggling with. " This is a boundary. To set a consequence, explain what you will do if they cross the line again. “If you talk about my family in a way I don’t like, I will not hide that I am upset with you. If you keep going, I will leave the conversation. If you do it repeatedly, I will end our friendship. " Follow up. If they cross your boundaries, give them the consequences.
Ask your other friends to intervene. Talk to the person you are closest to first. If your closest friend is the one who is teasing you, talk to someone else who likes you and isn’t closer to the teasing friend. Explain that you want to keep hanging out with all your friends, but that the friend who is bugging you makes you feel like it’s not worth it. Reach out to other friends who are being teased. If you stick up for each other, your teasing friends will back off. [9] X Research source
Talk to your parents, older friends, and your teacher or supervisor. If the bullying doesn’t stop, report it to the principal where you go to school, or the boss where you work.
If your friends reach out to you after you leave them, let them know what you expect before you come back. Tell them that if they cross your boundaries with mean teasing, you will leave for good.
