The verse often quoted to condemn being gay in Islam, the story of the Prophet Lut, is frequently misinterpreted. It’s heavily implied in the text that the sexual acts being condemned were rape rather than just same-gender relationships, and that the text overall was condemning greed and inhospitality. The words “homosexual” and “homosexuality” are never explicitly used in the Quran, and lesbian or bisexual women are not mentioned. Furthermore, the Quran even mentions “men who are not in need of women” (which can be interpreted as men who are gay or asexual) in Verse 24:31-24:33, and these men are not condemned anywhere. The Quran celebrates human diversity in many verses, and never specifically says that men must marry women, or vice versa. [1] X Research source Various sources confirm that LGBT+ people existed at various times in Islamic history. [2] X Research source
Gender diversity is normal in some countries where Islam is a common religion, such as Indonesia, where five genders are recognized. [3] X Research source [4] X Research source Transgender and nonbinary people don’t “change” their gender - their gender already doesn’t match their sex. It’s not a choice. Most Islamic scholars believe that cosmetic surgeries are acceptable when it’s to correct a flaw in the body. This gives transgender and nonbinary people a way to receive gender-confirming surgeries they might wish to have, since it corrects flaws in their bodies.
Keep in mind that hadiths were recorded centuries after the Prophet Muhammed passed, so it’s difficult to tell whether any of them were authentic to begin with. There’s also no evidence that the Prophet punished those who were in same-gender relationships, regardless of what the hadiths say about how he felt about them. [5] X Research source No authentic hadith will claim that LGBT+ people (or people who engage in gay sexual relations) should be put to death. [6] X Research source Multiple hadiths bring up mukhannath - gender-variant people who would most likely be considered transgender women today. No authentic hadith has condemned mukhannath for being gender-variant, and it’s made clear that people who pretended to be mukhannath for immoral reasons (e. g. to sneak into the women’s quarters) are the only ones with a problem. Sahih al-Bukhari 4324 explains that a mukhannath named Hit, a friend of the Prophet Muhammed’s wife Aisha, was allowed into the women’s quarters without the women needing to veil themselves around Hit. It was only required that the women veil around Hit when it was discovered that Hit had violated the privacy of the women by describing their bodies to others.
Allah cannot make you straight or cisgender; don’t wish this of Him, and don’t try to become something you are not, especially by Allah’s name. Allah created you the way you are, and your identity is not a mistake. Be careful not to fall into a trap of repenting just for your identity, as feeling guilty or shameful over it will make it much harder to accept, and this can lower your self-esteem and cause depression. [7] X Research source
Unfortunately, LGBT-friendly mosques can be difficult to find. While organizations such as the Inclusive Mosque Initiative are attempting to build mosques that allow LGBT+ Muslims to attend without being excluded, they are not yet widespread and LGBT-friendly prayer groups and spaces are often discovered through word of mouth. [8] X Research source Some imams have publicly come out as gay, such as Imam Muhsin Hendricks, Imam Daayiee Abdullah,[9] X Research source and Imam Ludovic-Mohamed Zahed (who opened Paris’s first gay-friendly mosque). [10] X Research source
For example, women wearing the hijab and fully covering themselves in public is required in the Quran, but some people choose to not wear the hijab, choose to show their forearms or ankles, or otherwise dress outside of traditional Islamic wear on a day-to-day basis, as long as they cover themselves when needed (e. g. during Salah or at the mosque). Some mosques allow women to lead the prayers or have desegregated. Similarly, not everyone believes that Muslim women must behave formally towards men that they are not related to.
The Quran specifically states not to judge or ridicule others, saying, “O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those that are the wrongdoers” (Quran 49:11). Imam Daayiee Abdullah calls homophobia, and the teachings of homophobia, “the real sin”.
People give up religions or seek gods other than Allah for many reasons. While only you can truly decide whether or not you will be a follower of Islam and of Allah, being LGBT+ does not mean you can’t be Muslim and does not mean you must give up your faith.
Remember that being LGBT+ doesn’t change you. You don’t need to act flamboyant or give up your faith, career, hobbies, favorites, and so forth. You’re still the same person that you were - you just have a different sexuality or gender identity than you thought. You can be LGBT+ and still be happy.
Try writing down how you feel or talking to yourself in a mirror when nobody else is around. Artistic expression can also be helpful - for example, painting. Just be careful to hide away papers if you write down how you feel, if you don’t live in a household where you will be accepted. Your acknowledgement doesn’t need to be huge. It can just be something like, “I have romantic feelings for someone of my gender, and I don’t like feeling this way” or “I am not the gender people thought I am, and I’m okay with that, but I’m worried about how others will react”.
Avoid websites and other sources that are transphobic and homophobic. Not only are they wrong and frequently spread misinformation, they’ll likely make you feel bad about yourself. Search for LGBT-friendly sources first, without pairing them with Islamic sources. Since many religious people (whether or not their religion is Islam) have very strong feelings about LGBT+ people that aren’t necessarily positive, it’s often easier to find accepting sources that aren’t tied to religion, at first.
Eat healthy and drink plenty of water. Stay away from alcohol - aside from being haraam, alcohol will also make you feel worse. Keep clean. Bathe regularly, perform Wudu before prayers, keep your living space tidy, and keep your clothes and sheets clean. This simple act can help you to feel more refreshed. Stick to your daily routines. Whether this refers to your daily prayers, work or school, or even just the times you eat your meals at, keep to your routines to avoid slipping out of them and feeling worse. Try sticking reminders around the house - such as Post-It notes or alarms on your phone - if you find yourself forgetting to do these things.
Volunteer. Engage a hobby that you already enjoy, or learn a new one. Learn something new, whether it’s a subject you’ve wanted to look into for a while or something you thought of on a whim. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself (but stay away from hostile environments, such as anti-LGBT+ or anti-Muslim areas or people).
Marrying is considered Sunnah in Islam, meaning that while it’s encouraged, it’s not necessary. (Therefore, if you can’t or don’t want to marry, you are not being a bad Muslim. ) Conversion therapies for LGBT+ people have been proven to be ineffective and often psychologically scarring. [11] X Research source Nobody can force themselves to have romantic or sexual attractions to anyone.
Transgender men and nonbinary people can still wear the hijab and keep covered if it makes them feel most comfortable. However, there is the risk of being viewed as a woman by those who don’t know you, or being addressed improperly while your hijab is on. On the flip side, if you want to transition into wearing (or not wearing) a hijab, then you can do that, too. You can choose whether or not you want to cover up, or if you want to cover just some parts of you (like your legs and arms, but not your head). If you want to cover up your head without wearing a hijab, try wearing scarves, beanies, hats, or anything else that covers you without the hijab.
Your LGBT+ identity is between you and Allah. No other Muslim has the right to judge you for it.
Psychiatric treatment, such as therapy. However, this is not feasible for everyone (such as people who can’t afford treatment or are under the age of majority in their country). Phone-based suicide hotlines. They can be great resources in times of crisis, but are region-specific. The hotlines listed below are not LGBT- or Muslim-specific. In the US, call or text 988 from the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. [12] X Research source In Canada, access the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention’s website at http://suicideprevention. ca/need-help/, and find a hotline in your province. In the United Kingdom, call 116-123, the Samaritans hotline. [13] X Research source If you’re located in another country, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has a list of crisis hotlines, and so does Befrienders Worldwide, at http://www. befrienders. org/directory. LGBT+ youth can contact The Trevor Project over phone (1-866-488-7386) or a text- or chat-based system at their website. [14] X Research source The Trans Lifeline is a US- and Canada-based hotline for transgender and nonbinary people. US residents can call them at 877-565-8860, while Canadian residents can call them at 877-330-6366. [15] X Research source
The United States legalized same-gender marriage in 2015,[16] X Research source Israel is considered to be fairly LGBT-friendly,[17] X Research source and France no longer requires sterilization in order to change one’s legal gender. [18] X Research source
wikiHow has articles that may assist you in coming out, such as (but not limited to) How to Come Out, How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian, How to Come Out As Transgender, How to Come Out to Your Friends, and How to Come Out to Your Parents. More articles can be found by searching in the search bar above. Coming out doesn’t need to be eventful or dramatic - it can be something as simple as “I want you to know I’m bisexual” or “I’m actually nonbinary, not a he - could you refer to me as “they” from now on?”. If you don’t know how your friends or family feel about LGBT+ people, try asking their opinion about things important to the LGBT+ community - for example, famous LGBT+ people in the media or laws regarding LGBT+ rights. Their reaction may tell you how they feel. Unfortunately, not everyone - whether they’re Muslim or otherwise - is accepting of LGBT people. This can result in you being ostracized from your family and friends. In more severe cases, you may be harmed by others or even arrested or given the death penalty, depending on where you live. Exercise caution - if coming out will almost definitely put you in harm’s way, don’t do it.
Some people are able to keep their old friendships after coming out; it’s often dependent on whether their friends accept LGBT+ people. If you feel afraid, dejected, put down, or belittled when around your friends, they’re not real friends. In unsafe areas, you may have to remain closeted, but it’s still important to seek out people who don’t believe that being LGBT+ is wrong for your own mental health. Don’t limit yourself. If you only look for LGBT+ Muslim friends, you might struggle to find people, especially in areas nearby (and many people are also not open about their LGBT+ status). Instead, focus on finding friends who accept you and care about you as a whole, regardless of their beliefs or identity.
The LGBT Muslim Retreat is an annual US-based event for LGBT+ Muslims to attend. Social media sites often have groups for Muslims to join, and may have some LGBT-friendly ones. Inclusive LGBT-friendly mosques (and youth groups, for LGBT+ teens) can offer opportunities, but can be difficult to find. However, some mosques are inclusive and even offer people the ability to join the sessions via Skype or Zoom if they’re unable to attend in person (such as Juma Circle and Masjid al-Rabia).
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. " (Quran 30:21) You deserve a healthy relationship as much as any non-LGBT+ person does. If you recognize signs of abuse from your partner, you do not need to put up with it and are allowed by the Quran to separate from your partner. Some LGBT+ Muslims are already in heterosexual marriages. While divorce is extremely frowned upon, Allah permits it when needed; if it’s in your better interest to divorce for the sake of the happiness of both of you, then you should consider divorcing. It is not a good idea to have an affair with another LGBT+ person; not only are affairs considered wrong by most people regardless of religion, it’s also extremely emotionally damaging to everyone involved.
You may need to explain to people that Muslims can be LGBT+. For example, you can say, “Yes, I’m transgender and Muslim. My gender and my religious views don’t affect each other”. If other Muslims tell you that you aren’t a true follower of Islam because you’re LGBT+, you may wish to script a response such as, “Actually, the Prophet Lut was condemning the cruelties occurring in Sodom, and he condemned rape rather than homosexuality. It wouldn’t make sense for Lut’s wife to be punished if he was upset about the men of Sodom being gay”. Some people may escalate to violence and physically attack you - whether for your identity or for your religion. While justification of self-defense is controversial in Islam, many countries have laws protecting those who attacked another in self-defense if you can prove you were acting in self-defense, rather than preemptively.
