Even if your loved one doesn’t have any advice for you, just letting it all out can be helpful.
Try telling yourself something like: “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made a mistake last year by turning down that job opportunity. It was my own fault, not anyone else’s. ”
For example, if the mistake you made was talking badly about a friend behind their back, your friend might feel angry and embarrassed. Or, if you got into a fight with your parents at a family reunion, they might be feeling sad or worried about you.
In some cases, it’s obvious what you can do to make up for a mistake. For example, if you dropped someone’s expensive knick knack and it broke, offer to pay for it. Other times, there might not be anything you can do to make up for it. If you hurt someone deeply with your actions, they might not be able to forgive you—and that’s okay.
For example, if you missed a deadline at work, you could work on your time management and set reminders for yourself on your phone and computer. If you forgot a loved one’s birthday, you could write it on your calendar and plan to buy them a gift 2 weeks in advance.
For example, if you learn that you get frustrated when your mom tries to talk to you immediately after arriving home, then be grateful for learning that you need some time to decompress after you get home. Or, maybe you overslept and missed work because you’re overwhelmed with responsibilities. You can be grateful to learn that you need to cut back on what you do during the week to improve your mental health.
For example, you could say, “I really messed up at my job one time, but I’ve also done some really great work there. My boss says I’m a hard worker, so I should believe her. ”
For example, you might find yourself thinking, “I’m just going to mess up again. ” Try telling yourself, “I can’t see the future, so I don’t know if that’s true. All I can do is try to work harder and be better. ” Or, you might think, “Nobody likes me because of what I did in the past. ” Try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friends just ask me to hang out last week? And they’ve known me forever. ”
We’re usually much easier on others than we are on ourselves. Although it can be tough, try to stop holding yourself to a higher standard than you would others.
This might sound like a silly exercise, but it’s a really good way to remind yourself that you aren’t only made up of mistakes. Although it might not feel like it, you’ve definitely done good things in your past, too. For example, you could write: “I’m kind to my friends, I’m creative, I manage my time well, I’m very personable, and I’d do anything for my family. ”
If you have insurance, you can probably get them to cover your visits. If you’re a student, check out the mental health services on campus. You might be able to see someone for a reduced cost (or even for free).
