Think about how you would have felt if you had not been defeated. Compare the two states, and consider what remains the same between the two outcomes. Consider writing your thoughts down. [3] X Expert Source Sandra PossingLife Coach Expert Interview. 13 August 2020. Speak to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings. You probably know how you best process emotions – so do what you need to do to come to terms with the situation.
Bear in mind that while it is important to embrace emotions, it may be unwise to follow certain feelings (such as anger or self-loathing) to their logical conclusions.
Remember that life goes on one defeat may not be important in the larger scheme of things.
You can move on by letting go, or you can move on by seeking retribution. Letting go will release you from your defeat, while the quest for retribution will only tie you to the defeat. Let go of self-judgment. Accept that failure is merely a part of life. People have and will always deal with defeat – it is a matter of perspective. If your opponent is being a poor sport, don’t lash out. It doesn’t change the fact that they won, and it damages your image.
Thank them for their time and congratulate them on their skills and their win. If you are a gracious loser, the victor will likely feel uncomfortable boasting about their win in front of you. This changes the situation from a winner-loser game to a moment between two people who respect each other and have just finished an enjoyable pastime.
Others have a responsibility to encourage everyone to participate. If they forget their role, you must not forget yours. Be excited about pursuing your interests. If your opponent is mocking you, that means they’re worried that you might be motivated by your loss. Ignore them; the more you listen to them, the more you accept their words as fact.
Think about what happened. Did practice prepare you for the situation you faced? Did your team communicate well? Whatever the case, try to address it at the next practice.
If your opponent cheated, wait until you’ve calmed down; then, talk to those in charge. Don’t make a scene; after all, you’re supposed to be the honorable one, and you may ruin your case if you act rashly.
Consider that we all make mistakes and are wrong at many points in our lives. It’s part of our development, and a large part of what helps us mature. You will lose credibility if you handle the situation in a petty and immature way. If you respond positively, onlookers and your opponent will see that you can accept when you’re wrong. [10] X Research source
Try to take it as a premise that failure has a role in your journey. Ask yourself about the purpose of this failure; what you can learn from it; and why it happened. Think about why you failed, and whether you could have done anything. Ask yourself whether you unconsciously forced yourself to fail because you are unsure of the goal you’re trying to reach.
The more you focus on your next win, the better you may feel about your last defeat. Not all winners have won their first match. If you don’t accept defeat gracefully, you will act rashly. People may notice if you don’t handle your loss in a mature way.
Failure is an important part of growing and getting better at what you do. [14] X Expert Source Sandra PossingLife Coach Expert Interview. 13 August 2020. Many people fail their way to success. Thomas Edison failed many times before inventing the light bulb, but he was able to persevere forward. When you finally do win, take some time to reflect. How have your failures helped you? You’ll feel far more satisfied when you have all that struggle behind you.
